How can you think I didn't look for you?
by ColaZeroAddict
Summary: He lost him... He hates the idea of him being dead...


**Hi guys! So this is my first phanfiction and I hope you like it. :) Off you go with the story!**

He was walking past the same road like always, thinking about that day. When he was kidnapped and nobody found him. It had been a couple of years since the accident. He thought on the word "accident". He chuckled, it wasn't an accident. It was him being his normal self and couldn't helping his dearest friend and soon-to-be ex-friend or boyfriend. He was going to tell him he loved his bestfriend that night. He shivered a little when he walked past the same spot the event happened, though maybe it was the cold... It was a winter day but it wasn't snowing right then. He was only wearing a jacket his hands in his pockets. A backpack on his right shoulder. He felt a tear fell down his cheek as he walked past another street lamp and tought how much he loved Dan. And how he was probably dead now. He stopped and walked near a cold and snowy bench. He was going to brush the snow off when someone put his hand over his mouth and nose. He tried to scream but nobody would hear him since it was the middle of the night. He slowly felt the conciousness slip away.

When he opened his eyes he was in a bad lighted room. It looked like the rooms police men and women interrogated suspects. He flickered his eyes to get rid of the blurry vision but he couldn't. His contacts were dirty and he couldn't see alright. He heard some whispers coming from outside the room, suddenly the door opened and closed with a loud thud. _Was it him? No… It couldn't be._ His thoughts were cut off when the skinny man in front of him started talking.

"Phil…" _It is him… It is really him… Oh my God, I thought he was dead. _Phil thought, blinking like crazy trying to see if it was really him. "Do you remember me? Your best friend!" There was an offended and angry tone in his voice.

"Dan…" Phil gasped and tried to stand up and hug him, but he was tied to the chair.

"You can't stand up until I allow you to." Dan walked towards Phil and put his hand on Phil's cheek. Then slapped him, but Phil could feel Dan was not enjoying this. There was silence. Only silence when Dan moved back and sit on the chair across the table. It was not an awkward silence, it was just uncomfortable. Phil's mind was running wild trying to process everything happening while Dan was just sitting and smirking. Phil opened his mouth trying to say something, but Dan cut him before he could say something.

"You're probably wondering why you are here." Phil nodded , still trying to clear his vision. "What is it? You can't see?" Phil nodded.

"Do you have your glasses with you?"

"Yes, in my backpack." Phil's voice was weak. Dan got out of the room acting like he was annoyed. He returned a few seconds later with the backpack in one of his hands. He put it down on the table and looked around it. Finally he got the glasses out and set one of Phil's hands free. He looked around the bag a little more and found the box where Phil should put his contacts.

"Listen while you do that. You're probably wondering why you are here, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."phil was wearing his glasses now and could see how much Dan has changed. He was more attractive, more mature and Phil could feel himself falling in love with him again just by looking at him.

"Well, I don't think you'll live enough to learn it." And with that Dan punched Phil on the nose. Phil's hand shot towards his nose but Dan grabbed his wrist and squeezed it, then slammed it down and tied it up once more. He then punched Phil's cheek, Phil instinctively tried put his hand on his cheek but he couldn't and a tear rolled down his cheek, again, but this time it was because of a different kind of pain. Phil couldn't understand what was happening and was trying to hold himself for a little longer, but he knew if Dan –the boy he loved- hit him one more time he was going to cry. Dan was just about to punch his cheek again when Phil talked.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Phil's voice was getting weaker and weaker.

Dan backed up a little. "Because I'm evil... I am the devil... I am the monster who sleeps in your head, not under your bed." It sounded like Dan was acting and he had thought about these words before.

"I want an answer… Please... You're going to kill me anyways. Just give me the answer…" Phil's voice cracked and he knew he couldn't talk more.

"I am angry at you! You are the reason I am like this! I blame _you_!" Dan had tears in his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry but was acting tuff.

"Why?.." Phil asked still holding back his tears.

"Don't you remember?.. Don't you remember the day I was kidnapped a couple of years ago? Don't you remember that winter day when we we were 'friends'? We were walking past a street side by side. We were young. We WERE friends. We were good friends- no- BEST friends. And it happened really fast…" Phil had a flashback and tears started to roll down his cheeks. Of course he remembered that day… He was finally going to confess his love for his best friend. But he was kidnapped and noone could find him. His whole life was shattered. He had been in depression and he was suicidal. "We were walking, pushing eachother playfully, laughing… But after a while we started to talk and started to walk slowly… We stopped under a street lamp. It was snowing a little… Noone seemed to be outside since it was nearly 2 a.m. and it was really cold, but not freezing cold… I looked into your eyes, you looked into mine… I opened my mouth but someone put his hand on my mouth and nose and pulled me into one of the dark alleys. I was trying to shout help but the hand on my mouth was keeping me from it. You were just standing there looking right into my soul… You never found me! I might've die! I might've been killed! But you were just standing there with your mouth open!.. And for a second I thought I saw you smiling… I kept telling myself that the boy I fell in love with, my best friends was NOT smiling when someone pulled me into a dark alley. But… But noone came and rescued me! I was raped, I was beat up… I waited for you everyday… Until one day… One day I figured that you weren't my friend, you probably didn't even told anyone I was kidnapped, you didn't even look for me, probably noone looked for me…" Dan was shouting and crying gesturing with his hands, but mostly crying. He sat down and calmed a little. "I was sure you loved me back… I was nearly 100 percent sure… But I figured it was only acting…" There was silence for a few seconds and Phil was trying to talk, say anything. "You're a pretty good actor by the way…" Dan was wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and drying his hand on his jeans. Phil was still trying to understand what Dan said. _Did he just said he loved me?.. Does he really think I didn't look for him?.. Does he really, truely believe I was just acting?.._

"Dan… Will you free my wrists?" Phil asked, holding his tears back. His voice was cracking.

Dan nodded a little and got up, moving slowly he freed Phil's wrists. Phil got up and immedeatly smashed his lips to Dan's. It was not a hungry nor a lustful kiss. It was passionate. Phil broke the kiss and put his forehead against his and looked directly into his eyes

"How can you think I didn't look for you? How can you think I was acting the whole time we were friends? You were right when you thought I was in love with you... That day... That day I was shocked, I couldn't move. I tried so hard to run and save you or call the police immedeatly but I couldn't... I couldn't process what was happeinng. I stayed like that what felt like an eternity... I ran to the nearest police station while I called your family. I alarmed everybody who knew you and I looked everywhere for you. I cut, I attempted suicide… I was in depression for so long..." Phil pecked Dan's lips one more time.

"I love you, I always have and I always will." Phil said.

"I'm so sorry, Phil. I loved you and I turned my love into hatred and I've hurt you… I'm so, so sorry… Will you forgive me?"

"Baby… I've already forgave you."

"I love you."

They kissed one more time, an one more time an done more time...

**I hope you like it and please review! If you like One Piece check my One Piece fanfiction!**


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